Friday, August 26, 2005

Reasons I am going to hell

It's my last Friday in Boston for a long time. What better time to reflect on the things I have done during my time here that should get me a personal invite from the little red guy....
  • Put old parking tickets on my windshield to throw the meter maid off from re-ticketing my car.
  • Continuously stole lunch from the cafetaria upstairs from my office because the cashiers don't give a shit anyways cause they hate their job.
  • Told the shoe bomber they'd never check his shoes.
  • Put Chuckie Cheese tokens in a homeless person's panhandle cup.
  • Faked I was sleeping on the bus so I didn't have to give up my seat for the smelly old guy.
  • Added vodka to the gatorade cups at the marathon last April just to spice things up a bit.
  • I was really the person that bitch slapped Gary Sheffield in the right field stands at Fenway in May.
  • Threw a Rolling stones party from the homeless people's setup under Storrow Drive next to Fenway Park. Hey, they got a grill!
  • Didn't envoke my right to marry another woman.
  • And then, in the 3rd grade, I did the worst thing I ever done. I made this bottle of fake puke at home and brought it to the movies and during this quiet scene in the movie, I dumped it over the side of the balcony and said, "Hoo-Blaaah, hoo-blaaah! Hoo-blaaaah, hoo-blaaah!"

Thanks Boston! It's been worth the trip to hell....

I mean Maine. Be good while I am gone.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMMFAO.....awww you won't be that far away to go and visit...hopefully you'll like maine...congrats on the new job..hope it works out!

10:51 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

Nah, Maine is a'ight.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Kankasore said...

YEs! I finally found you! I lost all my favorites. You're moving?

Good luck! LMAO

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the Goonies! Too funny!!

11:32 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

I steal all this stuff off somebody else's blog.

11:32 AM  
Blogger BossMack said...

I swear to God, That first reason you are going to hell, allowed me to find parking in college for years.

9:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey were on my mind this weekend..i hope the move went well...wasn't sure if you were starting work today..but if so, i hope you have a good day!

7:42 AM  
Blogger Lady Sappho said...

Happy Manic Maine Monday, Stay! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Just know that you're cooler than we are down here.

7:53 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

It's muggy as heck up here. I am in Maine and at work. It was a good decision even if I have to miss the love of my life all the time.

Aww...I have good blogging friends!
New post up shortly!

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :-) glad you like it so far!

10:39 AM  

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