Play by the Rules

On October 2nd the fairy tale romance of Rachel from Friends and the hot guy from Thelma and Louise will be over. I still remember the cover of People magazine years ago with a blushing bride, wearing white from head to toe, gazing lovingly into the eyes of her blonde haired, blue eyed UNIVERSAL SEX SYMBOL. Ahh...love and marriage.

But, hmm, something back then told me what has just be reaffirmed now. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF TRUE LOVE.

How many of you know these? Every time you date someone, crush on them and absolutely ALWAYS when you marry someone you gotta check the TRUE LOVE RULES.

TRUE LOVE works like this...You write the words "TRUE LOVE" on a piece of Mead or 5 Star, white lined notebook paper like such:

T L
R O
U V
E E

Then, you take the letters in each of your names and you count how many match the letters in TRUE LOVE. Let's use Brad and Jen as the example.

JENNIFER ANNISTON BRAD PITT
T-3 L-0
R-2 O-1
U-0 V-0
E-2 E-2

Then, you add up the totals. The true column stands for the tens column and love stands for the ones. So our total is 73. Times that by 100 and we get

THERE IS A 73% CHANCE THAT BRAD AND JEN HAVE TRUE LOVE.

I'm not marrying anyone with those odds. Let's keep playing.

ANGELINA JOLIE BRAD PITT
T-2 L-2
R-1 O-1
U-0 V-0
E-2 E-2

THERE IS A 55% CHANCE THAT BRAD AND ANGELINA HAVE TRUE LOVE.

Get out of Ethiopia with those odds my man. Hmm...

THOMAS CRUISE KATHERINE HOLMES

(YOU USE FULL NAMES)
T-2 L-1
R-2 O-2
U-1 V-0
E-4 E-4

THERE IS A 97% CHANCE FOR KATIE AND TOM.

But, I knew that would happen as TRUE LOVE is part of the scientology faith. One more?

ROMEO MONTEGUE JULIET CAPULET
T-3 L-2
R-1 O-3
U-3 V-0
E-5 E-5

Enough said.