Monday, July 18, 2005

Return of the Ghost Swing

Do you remember the infamous "ghost golf swing" post I wrote a while back? (If you don't remember, check out the June 29th post). I was referring to the man who shares office space with me. He's not really my boss...more like a collegue...more like an annoying, egotystical roach that never leaves your bathroom. Except, this roach talks..a lot. This roach likes to talk about golf, the pipes in the office that leak, golf, what I am eating for lunch (not his lunch, my lunch), golf and sometimes he likes to talk about golf.

He thinks he looks like this. He really looks like this.

When he isn't talk about all things related to pipes and golf, his second favorite thing to do is stand in my doorway while I am trying to accomplish something on the computer (my I do work too) and JUST STAND THERE. He doesn't say anything. Sometimes he puts his arms out to the sides to reach the door framing. Sometimes his arms are just by his side.

Now when he does this I am stuck in a very weird position. One, I am forced to use all my Jedi powers to not turn and snap and say, "What the hell do you WANT?" Second, I need to think of something catchy and whitty to say in order for him to get the message that I want him to go back to his space. One day I told him, "My door told me she doesn't like when you touch her like that." But he is such a wuss that he has no comeback and just walks away only to return 10-15 minutes later.

Now, that's not fun. So for now I just make "fake" conversation like I actually care about the British Open results.

In order to help myself cope with him and reduce my aggression towards him I have decided to implement a new feature here on Stacey dot com called The Dickhead Speaks. Be on the lookout from time to time when the big DH says something new.

Today's DH Quote
"mmm...what's that? Turkey? Turkey sandwich? What's on it?..a little mustard maybe? mmm"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

lmao how about tell him to "fuck off" or "ummm some people have work to do" lol but the one about the door that was funny as hell..

10:25 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

I told myself I wouldn't write about work. 22 days later the medication wore off.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol i hardly ever write about work..but @ any given moment one of these fuckers could piss me off and i'll blog about them for

11:38 AM  
Blogger midwest_hick said...

Does someone have a 'crush' on ya?

8:02 PM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

ha ha ..Hick! Someone else said that to me too. Could be but he's married to someone 6 years younger than himself and she looks like Barbie so I don't think Matel would let tham ever break up. Oh wait, they did break them up.

5:25 AM  

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