Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Hump Dizzy

Thoughts of the Day:
  • Angelina Jolie has completed the adoption of her second child, a 10 month old baby girl from Ethiopia. Jolie once told the media that her dream was to adopt a child from every nation by the time she was 40 years old. It has also been reported that Jolie has said she would like to sleep with every actor in Hollywood by the age of 50.
  • The new Harry Potter book, The 1/2 Blood Prince, hits bookshelves on July 15th. In this edition we learn that Harry Potter is not in fact a full blood prince, but he is in fact a bisexual.
  • Martha Stewart has started to talk about her days in prison. She states that fellow inmates referred to her as M. Diddy. When asked where that came from she said, it's short for rich-white-motherfucker.

A new segment.....

How is YOUR Humpday?

I got soaked in the rain without an umbrella on the way to work this morning. Thank god today is white t-shirt, no bra day at the restaurant.

My cat (the Asain) put his fake, black mouse in the toilet at some point during the night so my roommate woke up thinking I had a little too much sangria and black bean nachos and forgot to flush.

Found out New York City lost the bid to host the 2012 Olympics. Despite what they say, I really don't think the large buildings, construction, poverty and smell had anything to do with it. It was all Donald trump's fault.

Made 5 prank phone calls to Governor Pataki's office of New York asking them how I can buy tickets to the 2012 Olympics.

Asked my boss if he could see my nipples.

Googled all my friends and confirmed that I really am the highlight of their life.

Debated with a co-worker about who was hotter in 5th grade, Samantha Micelli or DJ Tanner. Tony Danza and Bob Saget wouldn't pick up their phones so it is still a toss up.

Bought a go-kart on Ebay for $26. Let's see the city of Boston try and ticket that.

AMEN: So you know those junk emails you get all time saying you can get a free ipod or plasma tv if you just complete 3 "special offers" and get your friends to do the same? Well, I have been sitting on my hands waiting for the right free gift to come my way. Well it finally has. The email reads:

You have been awarded the entire King James version Bible FREE but as of today it remains unclaimed.

If you send this email to friends, family and co-workers they can claim a free bible too.

*Offer not valid to California residents.


Do- Check out the Boston local band, Averi

Don't- Go see the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie

Do- Watch Being Bobby Brown tomorrow night at 10PM.

Don't- Bet it all on 28 BLACK. You will lose everything.

Do- Plant a tree today.

Don't- touch my belly button.


Blogger Spexial said...

lmao @ M. Dizzy.....holy shyt that's funny..

8:39 AM  
Blogger Nytro said...

Funny shit!

8:50 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

Martha has also named her new dog after a fellow inmate. She calls him Punk Ass

9:42 AM  
Blogger defiant goddess said...

A free bible? Some people get all the luck.

Oh wait. What's that in my hotel room drawer ...

9:29 AM  

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