Monday, July 18, 2005

The Canada Experience

Thought of the Day
In case you were wondering, Montreal, Quebec CANADA is 310 miles north of Boston. Just through New Hampshire and a good portion of Vermont, you can quickly get to Canada's french- speaking provence of Quebec. My recommendation is to do a brisk 90 miles and hour to alott for the time spent at the border. It's a nice little getaway for those of you who enjoy smoking in public, strip joints and the occassional one-armed homeless person. Seriously, I am wondering why I didn't run into Bobby and Whitney up there.


Sainte-Catherine Street. A great place to shop and also where our hotel was. The exchange rate was almost 2 Canadian to my American buck. Not being that great at math, I decided instead of mentally doing the arithmetic I would just tell myself that it basically meant buy one get one free.


While in Montreal we decided that the best spot for lunch would be the local Mexican place. Right. Haven't you heard that Montreal is known for their Mexican? I feel like that's just as bad as someone going to France and getting Chinese takeout. What was even better was the waiter spoke french. I was so confused.

At night the homeless people took over the city. The most surprising thing about Montreal was that all their homeless people seem to have dogs. Even the one-armed, barefoot man in front of the liquor store had a germain sheppard.

Things Heard Around Canada

  1. Do you think we could get some Expos tickets? Yeah, probably real cheap too considering they don't exist anymore.
  2. If we don't get a hotel room we should just keep driving to the North Pole.
  3. The resturaunts aren't serving lunch yet. But, the strip clubs are open. We can get a lap dance while we wait.
  4. Don't forget. The car is parked right in front of Le sexe de sexe club de filles nus.
  5. Don't let me leave here without picking up some Molsen XXX and fireworks.
  6. Fuck. Are all these channels in french?
  7. Look. They put people playing hockey on the money here.
  8. Montreal is kind of sketchy. Beautiful. But, sketchy.
  9. At 2Am the circus opens. It's $20 and they give you fruit.
  10. I am not buying a necklace that has a shelacked leaf on it. I feel like my child should make me one of those in 2nd grade.
  11. When we get to the border and they ask me what I am bringing back, should I lie?

3 Comments:

Blogger Spexial said...

lmao...please read my post about canada and the beef with us customs..it's in the archives of like june or something...hell i almost didn't make it back over here...lol

7:44 AM  
Blogger Sappho said...

Looks like quite an experience. Hey, Spex, nice to see you here, too. Welcome back Stay See. And, yes, truce.

2:04 PM  
Blogger defiant goddess said...

Smoking in public *and* strip joints?

I repeat: I am *so* moving to Canada. :)

11:01 AM  

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