Thursday, July 21, 2005

No Diggity No Doubt

Thought of the Day
To all the men who ride on the bus with me every morning. Here are a few tips:

Pleated pants went out in the early 90's. Pleated pants with sneakers was NEVER in to begin with.

The belt was made to hold up your pants. It is not there to be used like a man charm bracelet around your waist. No joke, one guy this morning had his phone (in a leather case), his Ipod (in a leather case), his ID badge (in a leather protector) and a swiss army knife ALL clipped to his belt.

Fellas- this is what your waist looks like.

Despite how many Queer Eye for the Straight Guy episodes you have seen, you CANNOT pull off the striped shirt and polka dot tie look. Carson was lying when he said ANYONE can dress up the polka dot with a little bit of stripe.

The Weekender
Looking for ideas for something to do this weekend?
  • 3-legged races at your nearby park, field or backyard after consuming an intoxicating amount of alcohol. You might need to bring trash bags though.
  • Go to a local lecture, speech or reading of some sort and when it come to the Q&A portion begin all your questions with, "Riddle me this, Batman.." Would also work when ordering a meal.
  • Pop Rocks and Coke.
  • Drive around all day and at every red light ask the car next to you if they have any Grey Poupon.
  • Attend a local armed forces recruitment and ask them if knowing really is half the battle.
  • Use your video camera to shoot a CRIBS episode of your house. Don't forget to include the hot whips in the driveway, the Crystal in the fridge and refer to your bedroom as the "place where all the magic happens."

Today's DH Quote

"Rock the kazbah...Rock the Kazbah......Rock the Kazbah...Rock the Kazbah!" [yes, JUST Rock the Kazbah...CONTINUOUSLY...over and over again...oh comes another.]

"Hey, uh, don't work too hard down here, ok..."

..and that concludes our lesson on things idiots say when they lack any creativity whatsoever. This isn't the first time I have heard someone resort to using Rock the Kazbah to try and look cool.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're not hardcore unless you live hardcore-pop rocks and coke sum it all up

7:40 AM  
Blogger slcup said...

I had the greatest charm necklace EVER. It was so laden with charms I looked like Mr. T.

7:54 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

I live hardcore Anony. Just ask my priest.

I am guilty of having the charm necklace as well. It was hot. I think it ran off with my garbage pail collection a few years ago.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok that fucking belt is hideous..i hate to see shyt like that on guys...thankful i'm gay couldn't have a fuckin boyfriend and definitely couldn't have a boyfriend with a fucking belt with all that shyt on it.......lmao...

8:24 AM  
Blogger Sappho said...

Riddle me this, Batman. . . .what happened to Carson? None of the gay guys I know would be caught dead in at least HALF of the outfits he wears. I think he's got some mixed up genetics in there.

Do you by any chance have some Grey Poupon to spare for today? I seem to be out and could really use some.

;-) Thanks, Stay

8:30 AM  

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