Thursday, June 30, 2005

Not Born on the 4th of July

Thought of the Day: With the 4th of July holiday approaching I realized for the 6th straight year I have no plans. Every year I intend to have the best 4th ever and every year it's a flop. I live in Boston for Christ sake, one of the most patriotic cities on earth and I can't come away with a decent Independence Day? So for 5 minutes this morning I told myself I would have an amazing weekend no matter what...whatever it took, I didn't care. I would show my off my red, white and blue. 6 years of not getting into the spirit has got me down and left my friends calling me boring.

Then I realized a few things might stand in my way.

  1. Old Navy has already sold out of their $5 Fouth of July T-shirts that are MUST HAVE. If you are seen not wearing one on the 4th, then....pity on you.. you waste of an American!
  2. I don't have enough money for $2.85 per gallon gas that I'll need to fill my tank with in order to drive to New Hampshire to buy illegal fireworks. No sparklers on the 4th? No thanks.
  3. My roommate threw out this week's copy of the TV Guide that had the recipe for the Betty Crocker Stars and Stripes cake. You know the one with the strawberries, blueberries and Cool Whip, placed on top of yellow sheet cake in order to recreate the American flag? Without that recipe I just don't think I could pull it off...
  4. Boston Costume has already rented out their Paul Revere costume for the weekend. There goes my hopes of running around Fanuel hall screaming the "British are coming! The British are coming!," and luring everyone to into the Purple Shamrock for a [Long Island Iced] tea party.
  5. I have to work on Tuesday.

But, I am still open to suggestion. Where the party at?

Every Thug Need a Lady: I have always had a love for Pez. I collected them like action figures. When I was a kid I probably had just about all of them. I was never lucky enough to have the first edish ones from the 60's. But, about 2 years ago I was walking through a grocery store in Fort Myers when I saw the ultimate prize, Peppermint Patty from the Peanuts gang. I grabbed her quickly because I had never seen one before and started to look through the racks for her trustworthy sidekick, Marci. But, I guess they didn't manufacture a Marci Pez. That seemed crazy. I was all torn up about it and I wrote a letter to Pez hoping I would hear back from them with their explanation as to why Marci was nowhere to be found.

Dear Pez People,

I am writing about an important issue. It seems that when developing the Peanuts line of Pez dispensers you failed to recognize you had left a very important character behind, Marci. Do you not realize how important Marci is to the Peanuts collection? There can be NO Peppermint Patty without Marci. She is the Robin to Peppermint's Batman. She is the R2D2 to Peppermint's C3Po. They are role models to lesbians everywhere. They were instrumental in the evolution of submissive-dominant gay couples. I urge you to reconsider this decision and start processing on a Marci Pez immediately. Until then my Pep will wait patiently for Marci, with Princess Leia and Wonder Woman closely by her side.

-A Concerned Consumer

2 Peas in a Podcast: If you have ITunes on your computer they are now allowing for you to hear podcasts for free. Don't know what a podcast is? Well they're very cool radio segments on just about any subject matter out there, updated daily. Podcast Central can also teach you a little bit about them as well. You can also, if you have the right equipment, upload your OWN podcasts just like you can upload imixes of your favorite tunes. I know what I am asking for for Christmas. I'll keep you posted.

...Don't forget, Stripsearch is on tonight at 10PM. Jelly-Belly should be sent back to Texas.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

A girl I knew stopped me on the street yesterday and pulled this out of her bag. Should I be concerned?

BRAVO Canada

Thought of the day: I read in the Boston Metro this morning that Canada's highest court legalized gay marriage yesterday. Same-sex unions already were legal in six out of 10 Canadian provinces and in one territory out of three after provincial court rulings in Ontario, British Columbia and Quebec. Canada will now be added to a list which only includes the Netherlands and Belgium as countries that allow such rights to homosexuals. Although Canadian provinces held the majority with 6 out of 10 that had already passed such laws, I think it is important to recognize what this says about them as a country. The ruling comes with mixed reviews from Canadians but the fact that it passed should and will have major implications on how other countries, prmarily the United States, go about this challenging marital debate. I would say it is a step in the right direction.
It's my perogative: Well, I guess Queer Eye for the Straight Guy just isn't bringing in the bucks like it used to for the boys over at Bravo because the network has announced a new show that is sure to test just how low we will go as reality tv victims. Being Bobby Brown premieres tomorrow night at 10PM on Bravo and chronicles the "Brown family" in a Real World, documentary style format. As if "crack is whack" Whitney and daughter Bobbi Christina won't pack enough punch, Bravo has included clips in which Bobby visits his 6 illegitimate children on seperate occasions and rocks out with original boy-band mates, New Edition. Bravo should have named this show the Bobby Brown telethon for child support and had 1-800 number scrolling across the bottom for donations to keep Bobby out of jail instead of actually issuing him a paycheck for this one. When the series is over and Bravo runs the 8 episode marathon, it will feel that way. I can see it now, Save Bobby! Call 1-800-I-Fucked-up in- my-twenties and now I am paying for it. As Keanu said so brilliantly in the movie Parenthood, "You need a license to catch a fish, but they'll let any asshole be a father." Tune in.

Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies: Why do men do air golf swings all the time? Do you know what this is? In case you don't, it is the art of swinging an invisible golf club. Does anyone know a guy who does this? In the office? At home? My god, are they really working on their swing, breaking down the mechanics, trying to be a better player? Do they actually have a game that day or are they keeping up their training like an olympic swimmer who has to do laps everyday to stay in shape. Maybe they are trying to let us know they have a game later that day or week. Maybe it is a silent pick-up line and by doing the "ghost swing" in your presence he's saying, "hey, in case you didn't know, I PLAY GOLF." Do you think Tiger Woods does this while standing in the grocery line or when he's meeting with his agent? I've never seen a pro golfer do it during an interview with ESPN or during post-game interviews. Think of me the next time your boss comes out to talk to you at your desk and know that when mine does, he also brings his "ghost swing."

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

You Gotta Start Somewhere

Thought of the day: I started this blog for one reason and one reason only....I need to stop playing online poker. It's getting out of hand these days. I register for maybe four tournaments a day. In between losses I play at single tables. In between wins, I tend to lose again. I even started depositing money so I can feel that rush that is hard to achieve I started this blog and thought I could pose the question to the world that I have been posing to myself for the last two weeks, "Do you think I have a serious gambling problem or am I just bored with my job?"
Old School shout out goes to: With Wimbelton well under way this week I thought it would be appropriate to remember the warm and fuzzy moments professional tennis has brought to us in the past. I remember "old" Jimmy Connors looking like "young" Jimmy Connors during his US Open comeback in '93 like it was yesterday. I remember when my best friend told me she thought Pete Sampras was hot when we were 14 and who could forget when Monica Seles got stabbed by that crazy guy on the court during her French Open match in '96? But, I don't think any tennis related memory in my mind could be better than when I found out that then tennis phenom, Jennifer Capriati, had been busted on dope possession charges at a Coral Gables, Florida hotel at the ripe old age of 16. She was so bad-ass! Great job Jen and good luck at Wimbelton!

If you have cable:Check out Stripsearch on VH1. I think of it as my new ice cream. As much as I don't want to watch and there are better things I could be watching, I know deep down if I just turn it on, watch it and allow myself to enjoy it, I will feel better. My favorite flavor, Blake, the freestylin' rap,white home boy from Oklahoma, surprising got booted last week. This, despite jelly- belly Bryce's french fry eating ways that made him the black sheep of the race. Sir Billy Cross, the show creator and main judge, seemed to think chicks don't find goth costumes and fake vampire teeth sexy, and gave Blake his walking papers after a botched calendar photo shoot. Apparently he has NOT seen Interview With a Vampire.
As if it didn't get enough airplay: Tom Cruise is still at it. What he is at I am still trying to figure out. Everytime I turn on the tv I see him yelling at someone, shouting about something and pointing at the screen. No one is safe, just ask Brooke Shields. I used to think James Van Der Beek was the most annoying, faux mullet, know-it-all that Katie Holmes could ever be seen with. Ding, ding, ding....we have a new winner. Katie, it is time to get off the Creek!

Boy Scout Merit Badge of the Week: Goes to the great guy, Forrest Nunley, who found the 11 year-old missing boy scout last week. Brennan Hawkins, who was lost and missing in Uinta Mountains in Utah for 4 days was found unharmed and alright after an extensive search. Stories like that give me hope that all in the world in not completely misguided and wrong. Cheers to more stories with happy endings.